Brian

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At 5:56 p.m. on June 10, 1965, I was born Brian Matthew Hadaway to parents Elsa Janice and Leonard Elwood Hadaway in Dallas, Texas.  I am the youngest and was always the “baby” of six kids, four brothers and one sister.

I was pretty big boy at 10+ pounds.  My mother said I was late by a couple of weeks or more and they didn’t induce labor to bring me into the world on-time, I suppose I came along when I was ready!

Most of my siblings are pretty evenly spaced and range from two or 3 years between each.  Even with six kids, my mother “Janice” always worked.  She was working for Morton Foods in Dallas when I born.  Morton’s manufactured dessert and snack foods as best I can remember, but we always knew mom would come home with sugary treats, it was always a big deal to see what she’d bring home.  Mom was fortunate enough to have some help around the house and with the kids.  I remember having someone care for me during my early years while mom worked.  I want to say her name was Dorothy, but she came during the week to tend my needs and help keep me entertained.  My dad, was always known as “Pete” which was a nickname given to him growing up.  Dad spent 25+ years working for the City of Dallas as a civilian within the Police Department.  He worked the afternoon/evening shift but never missed a morning when it was time to take the kids to school.

Growing up in Dallas, Texas there’s no surprise we were Baptist.  I don’t recall a strict regimen of church on Sundays or even that our parents were very religious.  But I do remember attending First Baptist Church of Carrollton and being picked up daily at my elementary school when class let out.  The church would take us by bus to their daycare program.  There was lots of playground equipment and outdoor space for a great time.

My mother put me into cub scouts and boy scouts as a young kid.  I remember selling light bulbs at a Dallas Cowboys football game one season on the stadium parking lot as a fundraiser.  Back then it never crossed my mind that people didn’t want to walk around the stadium carrying boxes of bulbs.  There were always lots of hand-me-down bicycles to compete for and I was fortunate enough to spend some summers in Oklahoma with cousins that introduced me to country life.  Here was a city kid having his hair shaved, fed sulphur tablets for ticks and sent out to work hauling hay.  I think we earned $0.25 or $0.50 per bale.  It was a lot of fun but certainly new to me, my ears were so badly sunburned since I’d never had my hair cut that short.  I’m surprised they didn’t fall off, they looked terrible.  My cousins in Oklahoma had horses for us to ride.  It was always “indian style” meaning bareback and without a saddle.  So most days we were dirty and sweaty bottomed from horses.  It was a great time, mom bought me my first horse when I was in the sixth grade, his name was Lobo.  My cousins and I rode horses over to a neighboring farm about 5 miles away to pick him up.  After picking him up and riding back to the house, my cousins took off in a dead run within just an hour of my first ride on Lobo.  Without a doubt, Lobo loved to run and race, and wasted no time in taking off right after them.   Only when Lobo made a hard right at the my cousins house did I keep going straight.  It was one of the many times I’d be on the ground with him looking over me and the expression of “who’s in charge” here.  I had one other horse named Biscuit growing up.  I was very fortunate to have had those opportunities as a kid.  At that time I had no idea horses would be a part of my adult life too.

My parents moved to Lake Dallas, Texas during the summer between my seventh and eighth grade year.  I spent that summer in Oklahoma and when my mom picked me up before the start of a new school year, my family had already moved into the new house.  There were only two kids at home when our parents moved to Lake Dallas, myself and my brother Mark.  The house in Carrollton was small and only about 1,200 square feet.  It wasn’t a lot of room for a family of our size.  But the house in Lake Dallas was about twice the square footage and really exciting for us.  It was really during my high school years that I began to recognize my sexual orientation and that I was attracted boys.  It was not an easy process to go through and I had my share of being bullied in high school. I may have been a big boy at birth but quickly grew out of that and remained pretty lightweight until reaching my 30’s.

My first job was at the Food Fare in Lake Dallas, a local grocery store, at the age of 15.  I worked there for about a year as a bag boy and grocery stocker.  My brother Mark, who’s closest to me in age, worked at a Dairy Queen in Farmers Branch.  Farmers Branch borders Carrollton where we grew up and this is a Dairy Queen we’d walk to as little kids.  I eventually left Food Fare and joined Mark working for our family friend that owned the Dairy Queen. There was regular Dairy Queen customer, Barbara B., that was probably the one person that dramatically shaped who I am today. Barbara was a long-time executive at North Dallas Bank. On June 3, 1983, I started to work at North Dallas Bank after Barbara offered me a position in their mailroom making $850.00 per month.  I couldn’t have been more excited to have a real job and get to wear a tie everyday. The mailroom was a pretty short stint. I had the job for two weeks before they moved me to a new role. I was eventually one of the youngest Bank Officers when they promoted me at 21 years of age. North Dallas Bank was a great experience and I’m thankful for the 13+ years I spent working there.  Their culture and way of doing business has been the foundation of my working career.  It gave me the opportunity to build relationships and eventually led me to financial system sales, the line of work I’m in today.

My sexual orientation was not something I faced alone. My brother Mark is also gay,  he came out to my parents when I was around 19 years old. It was then that my mother quickly recognized she might have two gay sons based on our similar behaviors. I did tell my mother that I was gay shortly after Mark. Just like any parent today or even back in the early 1980’s, mom and dad needed some time to comprehend why their children would want to live this alternative lifestyle. They did eventually realize that being gay isn’t a choice. My parents were married for 38 years but did divorce while I was in high school.

Just as I had enjoyed horses in my younger years, they would return in my 20’s. I met a young man named Scott A. some time in 1985. Scott was a long-time rider and had a barn on land owned by his parents. Scott and I hit it off and spent a number of years together where I was first introduced to riding dressage. Dressage came pretty naturally to me and I had my own live-in instructor with Scott. Scott and I eventually went our separate ways but horses and dressage would come back to me in my 40’s.

North Dallas Bank was my employer through late 1996. I was fortunate enough to have a very good friend, Mary B., that took me under her wing and helped me with a job at Affiliated Computer Services. This was my first job in sales. There is much more life lived through the mid 1990’s and 2000’s than I could ever put online for you to read. And if you’re reading this and don’t know me, then I’d hate to think this would be an alternative to sitting down in real life and missing out on a personal relationship with someone. With that, I’m going to fast forward to more recent years. Remind me if we meet one day to tell a few of the 1990’s and 2000’s stories that I may not had enough pages to write here, some of that story is very important to who I am today.

The last home I owned in Dallas was from 2000 until 2009 when I moved to Denver. My very good friend, Heather N., moved from Texas to Denver, CO. and attributed to my moving there in 2009. I currently work for ACI Worldwide which has been an evolution of companies I’ve been associated with since I left Affiliated Computer Services in 2000. The company I joined in 2000 was a small South African company named Mosaic Software. There were a couple of acquisitions of my employer that is now the company ACI and who I’m employed with today as a Senior Account Executive. I have been a remote and home officed employee since 2000. It offers alot of flexibility and I consider myself very lucky to have been able to work from home for so long.

The move to Denver is a very pivotal point in my life. There was a decision to end a relationship I’d been in for 14 years. I became an adult over those 14 years but eventually understood a change was right. There are always decisions I would make differently, but I have no I regrets about meeting the person I did in 1996 or for starting a new chapter alone in Denver. During this period, both of my parents died from natural causes and passed away. They both lived happy and healthy lives, and both were into their 80’s. My parents were loving and supportive, they provided all the things that kids need.  I must say I was much closer to my mother growing up and as an adult.  With my father always working the late afternoon/evening shift, it did not give me the time with him I would have liked or probably needed as a child. I hope they’re proud of who I am today. I always had a great respect for them as individuals and as parents. I think of them often and miss them. They always accepted me as a gay man and loved me regardless of how I lived my life.

I came to Denver with a little more gray hair and a few more life experiences. In Dallas where I grew up I had established friends as well as my family. In Denver I was starting new. My good friend Heather encouraged me to participate with local charities and began to introduce me to her social network. I was fortunate enough to find a few kind souls that would take me in and look after me socially. They know who they are. Denver was almost home for me.

I started traveling out to San Francisco for business and calling on a few accounts looking to make change in their payment systems.  These were nice opportunities and afforded me a number of trips to CA. On one of these trips I happened upon a handsome man by the name of Emron Grover.  If you’re visiting this blog then you know who I’m writing about. I look back on that day and consider it to be one of the most significant points in my life. If you don’t believe in love at first sight then you haven’t met Emron or you haven’t seen me smiling from ear to ear. I’ve never been as loved or love as much as I do today.  I wake up every day blessed to have someone as special as Emron, someone that wants to share their life with me, and a life together that includes children.  The San Francisco area is our home. I hope you’ll come visit us.

Thank you for reading part of my story. I hope you’ve learned something here, and if we haven’t met that we’ll have an opportunity to meet one day. I’d love to write about our time together and what our future holds.

Always thankful and blessed,

Brian

 

 

 

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